kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..