You just made me feel so damn special
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter