she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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