Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
