I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
