You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We have started to decorate penises.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
