you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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