she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
