I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What drink are we having for lunch?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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