Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
