so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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