The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i will never coherently bang her
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
