i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
