I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
