peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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