last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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