apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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