apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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