i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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