totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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