he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize