We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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