you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
