she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
