im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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