I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
