He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
