Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
