How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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