sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize