I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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