what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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