So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
