I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
