WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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