I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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