found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
