i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
