My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
