We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
