her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
