So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
