they need to just BURY HIM!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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