I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
