I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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