I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have post one night stand depression
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