i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
