I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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