he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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