Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
