I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
