I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
