you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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