DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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