Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
