he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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