Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
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Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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