I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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